I had an unbelievably similar dialogue from my hotel room in Siliguri the other day (minus the crisp bacon). The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest (G) and room service (RS), at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”

Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”

RS: “Rye. Roon sirbees . . . morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?”

G: “Uh..yes . . . I’d like some bacon and eggs.”

RS: “Ow July den?”

G: “What?”

RS: “Ow July den?…pryed, boyud, poochd?”

G : “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”

RS: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”

G: “Crisp will be fine.”

RS : “Hokay. An sahn toes?”

G: “What?”

RS: “An toes. July sahn toes?”

G: “I don’t think so.”

RS: “No? Judo wan sahn toes?”

G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”

RS: “Toes! toes! Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?”

G: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RS: “We bodder?”

G: “No . . . just put the bodder on the side.”

RS: “Wad?”

G: “I mean butter . . . just put it on the side.”

RS: “Copy?”

G: “Excuse me?”

RS: “Copy . . . tea . . . meel?”

G: “Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.”

RS: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy, rye?”

G: “Whatever you say.”

RS: “Tenjewberrymuds.”

G : “You’re very welcome.”

More from Joshua Berman
32 Tranquilo Travel Gift Ideas for 2019-2020
These are the best of the items that found their way to...
Read More